Parenting is an important role, you don’t only take care of a child but you’ll be the role model. A role model that’ll mold their personality, behavior, and skill development. Without parents, children may develop a destructive behavior that will not only harm oneself but the people around him.
Reality of Parenthood
Just like every parent, we’ll be thankful when a new child comes. Though, many people say it’ll be short-lived. Why? Because a child takes up much more responsibilities, it’s not a dog wherein you leave food and water for a few days, then it can live on its’ own.
Children needs their mother and father figures who can show them the distinction between good and bad behavior. A loving home is correlated with increase self-worth, the child will be conscious on what kind of treatment he/she deserves once grown up.
Being a parent means a whole new kind of experience. New parents will understand the struggles and paranoia of parenting, same as a parent with the second or third born coming along. This new role comes with:
Like every parent, it’s hard not to think about the “what ifs”, what if I’m doing the wrong thing? What if I’m not good enough for my child? Am I doing what’s best for my children?
These are a few questions that may have already gone through your mind a couple of times.
Remember, there’s no “how to’s” in good parenting. It’s based on gut-feeling and what you were taught when you were a child. Or in some case, what you don’t want your child to experience.
The pressure is that once you become a parent, you will start comparing yourself from other parents. In all honesty, it won’t be healthy for you and your family.
The pressure may then be passed down to your children. Even if we think the children won’t understand, what they will comprehend is what their parents feel in a situation. If you show anger, they’ll be frightened.
We can never be a perfect parent, but what we can be is the BEST for the child. Never expect too much for your child, let them embark on life at their own pace.
If they can’t solve a simple math problem, don’t get angry. Instead, give an easier technique to solve it.
Parenthood will test your patience, you may run out of this at times. But take note, a parent who shows negative reactions is more likely to create a passive aggressive child. Same goes in potty-training, a simple yet challenging activity for you as a parent and to your toddler.
Potty training at its’ finest
Potty-training, one of the activities that’ll make any family nervous and exasperated. There will be times when you follow what a book or fellow parents say but it won’t have everything you need to know.
Every child is different, some have tantrums while others are quiet and follow instructions. Why is toilet-training difficult? The truth is, it won’t be if you’re following the right ways on how to execute this!
This isn’t only a simple way to save a few bucks, it’ll make your toddler be independently ready for what the world throws upon him.
Importance of timing
Think for a minute, would you give your 1 year old child milk through a glass instead of a bottle? The right timing is key to every successful development of a child’s motor and verbal skills.
Just like in an educational perspective, you don’t enroll your toddler to a grade 4 class when he hasn’t gone through kindergarten. Of course, it depends on the capability or fast grasp on learning.
Toilet-training is no different, every child has to go through certain stages before they’re ultimately ready for the big toilet. Too early and too late on this means a bad effect on your child’s part.
Bad effects of early potty-training
What’s the right time to potty train your toddler? The bracket is between 18 months to 24 months. Earlier than that would mean consequences. A perfect example is the development of bad behavior (which we will explain further).
Behavior development at later age
You may praise your child for learning to pee and poop in the big boy toilet but too early may mean bad behavior. If you make your child learn this in a difficult way such as scolding when he/she bed wet, this’ll create a passive individual.
A toddler that follows all your orders without any crying/tantrums is way scary. It’s normal for a child to express oneself through tantrums if this isn’t present, it may mean your way of parenting is quite tight (or strict).
Perfect example is when a child shows signs that he’s going to pee/poop on his pants, the parent would hoist him and run to the bathroom before the clothes get soiled.
In the long run, the child would feel the need to break rules to the point that it involves the law.
Practicing toilet-train at an early age may have an increase risk in urinary tract infection and constipation. A toddler can’t hold his pee/poop for too long because his body isn’t fully developed.
The best way to know if your child’s ready to be potty-trained is to look for signs of readiness and willingness to learn.
Bad effects of late potty-training
Okay, just because you shouldn’t potty-train your child at an early stage, doesn’t mean potty-training very late is better either! When it’s late, your child will find more difficulty discharging pee and poop.
When a child is accustomed to peeing and pooping in a diaper, it’ll be more difficult for them to learn how to potty-train. Since using a diaper is fast and can be done on the spot the transition to toilet may take time.
Being adaptive is one trait every individual needs to possess, without it you’ll be stuck in one place. A child who potty-trained very late, will have a hard time interacting with other people and executing tasks/projects.
Feeling of satisfaction
A child has certain stages to follow as they age, they should study or learn how to walk in a specific timeframe. If you overdue the toilet-training, your child will be a late-bloomer in everything else.
Moreover, wearing a diaper even when the child shows eagerness on being independent will soon change. In long term, the toddler will be used to the parents help which affects ones’ self-esteem.
The child won’t feel any contentment or confidence to complete a certain task because he believes that it’s impossible for him to do it alone.
Tips/Hacks on Potty-training
New parents won’t have a clue on what it really feels like to potty-train a child. Meanwhile, if you’re a parent who has two or more children, you may think you know everything.
Below are ways to make your life extra easier:
Believing every child is the same
Remove the common belief that just because you did a parenting technique to one child, doesn’t mean it’ll be as effective to your other child. You should have new ideas up your sleeves.
Most parents mistake is to keep some diapers in case of emergencies. A perfect example is going to the mall, you bring out diapers to reduce the stress of going through and from the bathroom.
Keep in mind that your child won’t learn faster if you follow this practice. It may be a hassle but when time comes, you’ll never have a problem on washing pee covered clothes!
Discipline your child
Most parents struggle with disciplining their child, being too strict or soft is what most people avoid. But how do you know if you’re going overboard? What’s the best solution for this common problem?
For example, you call your child for dinnertime but he keeps playing with his toys. What will you resort to? Drag him to the table or let him off the hook?
What’s best for this is to show a good example to your child. If everyone in the family sits on the table at a certain time, the child will notice and be there too. Don’t always resort to punishment.
There are times when we parents can’t stop ourselves on correcting our children. “No! You should do it this way.” Or maybe, non-verbal communication like switching a crayon from the left hand to the right.
How can a child learn to work on their own when the parents the main problem? Maybe not a grave problem but we as parents wants what’s best for the children. But before you correct your child, think for a minute “is my way only the correct way?”
Let your child complete tasks in their own way and pace. Even if it gets messy, learn to embrace and appreciate that your child is making a step of being independent.
A potty-trained child possesses a sense of purpose, they will have this inner confidence to complete a task to obtain a certain goal. The transition to diaper to toilet is an indication for parents that your child is adaptive to change.
With that said, never force your child to do something they aren’t ready for. Be a guide and role model instead of a dictator. Finally, become the parents they’ll run to in times of failures and success.